Some wisdom and lessons I’ve gleaned from this past year
In the northern hemisphere, New Year’s sits atop the winter season. As the weather cools and our social life softens (or comes to a complete stop due to our current pandemic) we’re really able to drawn inward. It is the season for taking stock over our past year and redraw our maps for the next year.
As someone who as a child called the prayer line at my church with all earnestness, my spiritual practice is deeply ingrained. I regularly make time for reflection — but integrating my lessons and releasing the old? Well, that is more difficult for me. I haunt myself thinking, what if I’m wrong? What if I do need this in the future? It won’t hurt to keep this to be on the safe side…
As I’ve pulled some reflective tarot cards, journaled, and taken time to be generally quiet 🤫 I have been hit with the same message — let go, let go, let go.
Even when I leap, I’m holding. Hedging my bets and building a trap door to escape. It is so difficult for me to go ALL IN. In recognizing just how DEEPLY I hold on, I’ve decided to spend time with this inclination instead of trying to force it out of myself.
In my deep fear of abandonment and failure, I hold back, keeping a secret piece of myself.
HOWEVER — what I’ve come to realize is that bringing everything to light is an essential part of both healing and connection.
I have feared endings in the past, but this year more than ever I see that endings are nearly indistinguishable from beginnings.
While this year has been unexpected and full of challenges- I emerge more in touch with myself. As I move through transformation and transition I am now even more equipped to guide my clients.
My hope is that in exploring this urge, feeling how it is baked into my bones, designed to keep me safe, I can gently lift its grip.
As we move into 2022, my only goal is to embrace the uncertainty instead of creating a fortress against it. What else is there to do but ride the ride?