Follow these 4 Steps to get back into Flow
BEING STUCK IS A UNIVERSAL EXPERIENCE.
We’ve all been there. One day you take a look at your life and it’s like:
You just can’t keep going. Hitting a rock bottom can feel terrifying, but it’s also a point of pivot (and can be extremely freeing!) While it may seem extremely counterintuitive — and you might want to punch me for saying this, but hitting a rock bottom or feeling stuck is actually a place for celebration. It means you get the chance to massively change your life. While most of us fear and resist change, it is inevitable. Everything must come to an end, including this period of stuckness. So if you’re at the bottom of the pit, let’s put that time to use!
Follow these steps and you’ll get yourself back into your flow:
STEP ONE: I [INSERT NAME HERE] AM STUCK
I CRING WHEN PEOPLE SAY “NAME IT TO TAME IT” BUT BY JOVE IF IT ISN’T A HANDY LITTLE PHRASE AND RIGHT AS RAIN.
Identifying that you are stuck is ABSOLUTELY the first and most difficult step. Hand to God, even with all the rock bottoms I’ve navigated, this is ALWAYS the hardest part for myself because I’m hardheaded and as stubborn as a mule. That good ol’ rugged individualist programming we have here in America means I love refusing to admit I need help and resisting the change I need to embrace. BUT REMEMBER — REFUSING TO ACCEPT YOUR REALITY PROLONGS SUFFERING.
RESISTANCE IS FUTILE — If you are denying your reality because it seems everyone else around you is thriving and you’re confused about why things aren’t working out for you — LET IT GO.
If you’re prone to running or distracting yourself from yourself — here’s a handy little guide to what happens:
RUNNING AWAY FROM YOUR PROBLEMS IS A TEMPORARY SOLUTION — I HAVE TRIED THIS MANY TIMES. THEY FIND YOU. SEE SNL SKIT ABOVE.
STEP TWO: TAKE INVENTORY
SO I SEE YOU’VE GOTTEN PAST STEP ONE. CONGRATS.
NOW, GET YOUR BEARINGS. What is happening around you? It can be helpful to think of yourself as a journalist or explorer in the wild, here — because the more you can be objective and zoom out, describing what’s happening and figuring out what wheels are spinning and where the energy is jammed, you’ll be able to create a game plan.
This is a good time to get to journaling, talk to a therapist, coach, trusted friend.
What’s not working?
NO PROBLEM SOLVING NEEDS TO BE DONE HERE — JUST OUTLINE THE FACTS: something like — “I cry each morning before I go to work because I’m so unfulfilled and also scared at my place of work,” and then keep digging (yes, this was me about like… 7 years ago? not great bob)
Being stuck can be, “ho-hum I don’t feel jazzed about life.” to extremely dark — if you are in the bottom of the hell pit and feeling like you don’t have any solutions reach out for professional help!!! The national suicide prevention hotline number is: 800–273–8255 there is NO SHAME IN NEEDING TO CALL IT.
A note on therapy — I’ve been lucky to have health insurance and access to therapy from being a student. A therapist is an incredible resource, but it can be a bit demoralising sometimes to find the right match or find one you can afford. There are funds and resources out there to help you — enlist a friend or family member to help you on your search. Keep going until you find the person who creates a safe environment for you to be vulnerable. This is how we grow!!
STEP THREE: RELENTLESSLY CUT OUT THE EXCESS
WHAT CAN YOU CLEAR OUT? You’ve taken inventory. Now we take that inventory and we get to work! This is the time to slim down your schedule and your life to the bones. What don’t you need? This is a great time to Marie Kondo.
If you’ve identified that your job is killing your soul, but also that you are doing a lot of other stuff that’s not really helping — what can you quit? What can you walk away from?
We cut everything that isn’t the basics — protect your mental health, prioritize sleep, drink lots of water, and get outside/ get moving.
This isn’t about burning down everything around you (not that I’d rule that out if that feels right, ahem I see you Scorpios, but maybe see me for a 30 minute call first?) — but scaling back so you can create space.
STEP FOUR: START GENERATING SOME JOY
Scaling back to the basics means you can invite in the next chapter of your life. Being stuck typically means we’ve stayed in the old chapter too long / have been denying ourselves of acknowledging our growth and change. The good news? Life is always flowing around you. Things are always changing, even when it doesn’t seem like it.
What brings you joy? What simple things can you do to be in the moment?
Build moments into your schedule that make you happy! Is there an art exhibit you’ve been meaning to see? A friend who makes you laugh? A cheap improv show you can get tickets to?
Laughter and connection help us create creative solutions. Stepping away from your sticky situation helps build perspective and gets energy moving.
Generating joy invites you back into the present moment and reconnects you to your intuition.
When we can experience moments of joy, we’re reconnecting with our universal wisdom. Even if you can only find that place for small moments, keep building your capacity to release the past and stay in joy.
You’ve got this, bb, and when you get stuck again — you’ll be able to get moving again.