Finding Your Authenticity
How to Trust Yourself First
In the overlapping worlds of self-development, New Age spirituality, wellness, and self-help, a word you’ll come across often is authenticity.
What does it mean to be living in your authenticity?
Finding your authenticity means being deeply rooted in your body, feeling connected to who you are and feeling confident enough to make decisions that feel right for you.
When you are in your authenticity, you are looking out for yourself and are comfortable making decisions that take your needs into consideration.
As a Human Design reader, I work with clients who are looking to align themselves more deeply within. In fact, the way that I found Human Design was through my own quest for inner and outer alignment.
The great news is that you don’t need to study Human Design or have a Human Design reading to get started on your own journey for authenticity.
You need to just begin with a simple evaluation — are you spending time doing what you love, feeling connected or are you spending time feeling underutilized and disconnected?
Step one: Am I using my time in a way that makes me feel connected to my heart and my body or am I overwhelmingly feeling frustrated, angry, bitter, or disappointed?
If you’re feeling good and in your body, you’re definitely on your way to finding your soul’s purpose. Keep doing what you’re doing following those good vibes and you’ll keep attracting more of what feels good to you.
If you’re overwhelmingly feeling one of frustrated or angry or bitter or disappointed that’s very helpful information! It simply means you are using your energy ineffectively. Awareness is always the first step in changing.
If this is you — move on to step two.
Step two: ask yourself what do I even like?
I wish I had this tweet as a motivational poster starting at age 18.
If we don’t know our likes and dislikes, it’s hard to feel satisfied in life.
Having an understanding of yourself is crucial for self-development. If you don’t know what you like or what your goals are, what’s your plan? To have someone else live your life?
AND IF YOU ARE LOOKING FOR A RELATIONSHIP — how can you expect someone else to get on board with you if you can’t get on board with yourself first?
Finding out our likes and dislikes is the first step in accepting yourself and living a life that feels good.
If you float along in life going with the crowd or allowing media and friends and family to dictate your experiences, it’s going to get in the way of your love life and keep you at arm’s length from having meaningful friendships.
How annoying is it when someone isn’t willing to give their actual opinion because they don’t want to get judged?
Personally, I’ve wasted so much time trying to be ‘easy-going’ for the sake of being liked that I didn’t realize that what people like are people who are comfortable with themselves! Having an opinion(or just making a choice) is the first step to authentic relationships with others, but also with yourself.
Bravery is finding out who you are at a level below the veneer we create for public consumption.
You’ve got to take a stance and be willing to be vulnerable to make life worth living.And if someone is going to judge you because you like chardonnay, then that’s valuable information for you to dismiss them kindly.
If this is scary to you, that’s completely fine. Start keeping a notebook or a list on your phone of things that sound interesting to you.
The secret to authenticity is pretty simple: do what you love and do it as much as you can.
Begin to hold an investigation on yourself. What are you drawn to? What are you repelled from? Sometimes knowing what we don’t like can help point us in the direction of what we do like.
As you begin to gauge what it feels like to be doing things that you do like, take note of how that feels in your body.
The more that you can invite this feeling in, the more you are able to crowd out those feelings of frustration or anger or bitterness or disappointment.
As you figure out what you like and don’t like it then becomes more important to determine your needs and communicate them clearly.
Being authentic means defining your boundaries. It means seeing your needs and being able to meet them yourself. It means communicating clearly to others because most people can’t read minds. If you haven’t read The Four Agreements, start there. If you need help with boundaries and why you need them start with this incredible book.*
You are a person who’s been given your own needs, likes, dislikes, talents, and blindspots.
Owning who you are and knowing that you’re a human just like any other prone to mistakes, prone to genius, and prone to accept and give love just like anyone else.
You are magic in your own way.
Keep going and you’ll find your place to thrive.
*(While this series is rooted in the Christian faith, it is one of the best book series on boundaries regardless of your faith.)
